I feel like I am just wasting my life away. Don't really know the reason, perhaps because of my unglamorous grades. I thought all along that I wasn't the type who give a hoot about studies and i never have studied in my life as much as I did for the promotional examinations. I achieved all the lowest possible grades for almost all subjects during the blocks and I've staggered on. I willed much to achieve better for the promotional examinations and persisted on mugging like a loser. Although I managed to improve on my unsatisfactory grades, I still failed two subjects. That really sucked. I was hoping to at least pass every single shitty subject.

I feel so hollow. Perhaps it's because I've lost my old self, my gaming self, I've lost so many things, and I'm lost. Well, maybe gaming impoverished me intellectually and abstruded everything else. I don't wish to wander and wade through my past recollections with empathy. I just want to thank those who guided and helped me for my examinations or I would have scored worse.

Many lost souls out there also share my sentiments. There is no desire without betterment. I just hope we could tide the waves of sorrows and despondency.